Identify Your Emotional Triggers - an exercise
What are emotional triggers?
They are people, events or situations that provoke a sudden and intense response for us. When it happens, we feel it physically. Our fight, flight or freeze response is activated. There are a range of sensations you might experience, and they tend to be unpleasant. We're thrown into a state of stress, anger, panic or fear. The intensity will vary, and the more you learn about the things that trigger you, the more able you'll be to control your reaction.
In time, as you discover why you react strongly to these experiences, fewer circumstances will disturb you. This is a process, so allow yourself time to adjust.
They are people, events or situations that provoke a sudden and intense response for us. When it happens, we feel it physically. Our fight, flight or freeze response is activated. There are a range of sensations you might experience, and they tend to be unpleasant. We're thrown into a state of stress, anger, panic or fear. The intensity will vary, and the more you learn about the things that trigger you, the more able you'll be to control your reaction.
In time, as you discover why you react strongly to these experiences, fewer circumstances will disturb you. This is a process, so allow yourself time to adjust.
In order to reduce the number and severity of your triggers, you first have to recognize them. You have to be aware of them in order to do something about them. I suggest keeping a record on your phone, other device or in a notebook. Of course your objective is to remain calm in challenging situations, but in the beginning, you'll want a clear idea of the people and circumstances involved.
Each time you're triggered, as soon afterwards as possible, try to record the following information:
This may seem like a lot of detail to remember and record, but it will help you uncover the source of your reaction.
After you've recorded your triggers for a few weeks, you can review them with an eye for patterns.
And when you're calm, use whatever introspection method works best for you to work backwards to the original situation that caused you distress. I'll write more about that later.
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Each time you're triggered, as soon afterwards as possible, try to record the following information:
- Date and time
- Other people involved and your relationship to them
- Physical location of the event
- Describe the circumstances with the following information:
- did it start with a single comment or action
- was this the first time this has happened or is it repeating or ongoing
- if there's a history, describe it
- describe the statement, conversation or action(s)
- describe your feelings - both emotional and physical
- did you respond or engage in another way
- did other people respond
- how did the event end
This may seem like a lot of detail to remember and record, but it will help you uncover the source of your reaction.
After you've recorded your triggers for a few weeks, you can review them with an eye for patterns.
And when you're calm, use whatever introspection method works best for you to work backwards to the original situation that caused you distress. I'll write more about that later.
Return to Free Resources page