Your emotions
Oftentimes, people with low self-worth repress emotions and hide reactions. When you're unsure of yourself, you hesitate to reveal too much of yourself to others. If you believe that your thoughts and feelings won't be accepted by others, why would you risk being criticized or ignored or not taken seriously? Having learned it's best not to express what you feel, you keep your deepest feelings hidden. After awhile, you may not even realize how much you've buried. This suppression is unhealthy physically as well as mentally and emotionally.
As you begin to heal the wounds that caused you to bury parts of yourself, because that's what your emotions are - they're part of your identity - hopefully you'll start allowing yourself to express how you feel. This might be easist in situations where others likely will have the same reaction as you, like watching a movie.
Here's another example. When I was on jury duty, we heard from a witness who had been permanently brain-damaged as the result of a vicious attack. Everyone on the jury was trying extremely hard – and with little success – to avoid crying as we listened to the victim’s story of life before and after the attack. No one could hold back their tears.
At other times, having control of your emotions is more important. Anger is a good example. With potentially harmful emotions, there’s a difference between feeling and expressing. If your reaction is going to put you or someone else in danger, you’ll want to have enough self-control so you can decide how to react safely. This is a time to consider the consequences of different ways of acting. Then you can choose how to express yourself and possibly, if it would be better to delay your reaction.
Let's go back to the subject of repressing your emotions. You’ve done this, often without realizing it, because past relationships and experiences taught you to fear being judged. In order to cope with your fears, you shut down and your emotions were buried. The thing is, they still exist and may pop out at inappropriate times when the pressure becomes too great. And that pressure may eventually cause illness.
Journal prompt:
There are lots of ways to express your emotions, as any artist could tell you. Choose some of the experiences you've had and describe how you've been affected by them. Writing, of course, is a great way to release what you feel, especially if you write freely, without concern for organizing your thoughts or proper grammar. Let it flow out of you.
Your personality
Another part of self-expression is showing your true self.
Most of us reveal different aspects of ourselves to different people at different times depending on what’s appropriate and how comfortable – and safe - we feel. But beyond that, when we’ve kept parts of our personality locked inside because we didn’t want to be judged or to be labeled as “different,” we've given away some of our power.
When you feel free to let people see the real you, you open natural channels of communication. Your creativity is released. The real “you” is given space to emerge – your interests, your opinions, your dreams – the list goes on.
Whatever your life path is, it’s up to you to explore and to express who you are in ways that are right for you at the time.
Creativity prompt:
Make a list of as many of your interests and abilities as you can think of. Then brainstorm ways to use them. Do some research, find other people with similar interests and look at what they've done. If you're reading about them - or discovered them in some other way - they've made themself known, so what might you do?
Oftentimes, people with low self-worth repress emotions and hide reactions. When you're unsure of yourself, you hesitate to reveal too much of yourself to others. If you believe that your thoughts and feelings won't be accepted by others, why would you risk being criticized or ignored or not taken seriously? Having learned it's best not to express what you feel, you keep your deepest feelings hidden. After awhile, you may not even realize how much you've buried. This suppression is unhealthy physically as well as mentally and emotionally.
As you begin to heal the wounds that caused you to bury parts of yourself, because that's what your emotions are - they're part of your identity - hopefully you'll start allowing yourself to express how you feel. This might be easist in situations where others likely will have the same reaction as you, like watching a movie.
Here's another example. When I was on jury duty, we heard from a witness who had been permanently brain-damaged as the result of a vicious attack. Everyone on the jury was trying extremely hard – and with little success – to avoid crying as we listened to the victim’s story of life before and after the attack. No one could hold back their tears.
At other times, having control of your emotions is more important. Anger is a good example. With potentially harmful emotions, there’s a difference between feeling and expressing. If your reaction is going to put you or someone else in danger, you’ll want to have enough self-control so you can decide how to react safely. This is a time to consider the consequences of different ways of acting. Then you can choose how to express yourself and possibly, if it would be better to delay your reaction.
Let's go back to the subject of repressing your emotions. You’ve done this, often without realizing it, because past relationships and experiences taught you to fear being judged. In order to cope with your fears, you shut down and your emotions were buried. The thing is, they still exist and may pop out at inappropriate times when the pressure becomes too great. And that pressure may eventually cause illness.
Journal prompt:
There are lots of ways to express your emotions, as any artist could tell you. Choose some of the experiences you've had and describe how you've been affected by them. Writing, of course, is a great way to release what you feel, especially if you write freely, without concern for organizing your thoughts or proper grammar. Let it flow out of you.
Your personality
Another part of self-expression is showing your true self.
Most of us reveal different aspects of ourselves to different people at different times depending on what’s appropriate and how comfortable – and safe - we feel. But beyond that, when we’ve kept parts of our personality locked inside because we didn’t want to be judged or to be labeled as “different,” we've given away some of our power.
When you feel free to let people see the real you, you open natural channels of communication. Your creativity is released. The real “you” is given space to emerge – your interests, your opinions, your dreams – the list goes on.
Whatever your life path is, it’s up to you to explore and to express who you are in ways that are right for you at the time.
Creativity prompt:
Make a list of as many of your interests and abilities as you can think of. Then brainstorm ways to use them. Do some research, find other people with similar interests and look at what they've done. If you're reading about them - or discovered them in some other way - they've made themself known, so what might you do?
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Read the next article in this Series here.
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The content of this article is informational only. I am not a licensed counselor or therapist and I do not provide medical or psychiatric advice. None of the information provided is intended to treat or diagnose any health condition.
© karen elena james 2021
Read the next article in this Series here.
Or, return to my list of articles here.
The content of this article is informational only. I am not a licensed counselor or therapist and I do not provide medical or psychiatric advice. None of the information provided is intended to treat or diagnose any health condition.
© karen elena james 2021