The shift began when I was downsized from my job as a corporate paralegal in a Chicago law firm. It seemed like a good time to try something different and that's what I told the employment agency. And so I spent the next year in Juvenile Court, helping to move abused and neglected kids from foster care to adoption. As it happened, this change in my professional life coincided with changes I was just beginning to make in my personal life.
My career change to social service turned out to be mostly permanent, and I was becoming more dissatisfied with big city life in a harsh climate. After a lot of research and a couple weekend trips, I had created a vision of the new life I wanted. I was going to head west, to a smaller city filled with everything I wanted. I booked a sleeper compartment and when the day came, I boarded Amtrak for the 44-hour trip from Chicago to Portland. Like most of the important changes in my life, I did this alone.
Everything fell into place as I settled into my new home. But I didn't know what I had set in motion. In just over a year, I was downsized again (for the 4th time), suffered a viscious emotional break from my troubled family and lost a potential partner. It wasn't just my dream that was shattered, I had been jolted down to my core.
And that's where my real healing began - with a soul retrieval from a shamanic practitioner. She collected the pieces of my damaged soul and gave me a start for the next phase of my new life. It wasn't easy; there was a lot more emotional pain as I dove into the world of self-help and personal development. But something else unexpected happened. Along the way I realized what a fantastic opportunity I had. As I discovered why my life had previously been going nowhere, I saw that I had been given what I asked for - albeit in a very different format and without my conscious knowledge.
From then on, I began creating. I took responsibility for my future (and mostly for my adult past) and decided what kind of person I wanted to be. And that's what I've been developing ever since.
That first downsizing and my inner guidance had prompted me to veer off the path I was on. It didn't take much effort on my part - I was just following what my intuition was telling me to do. And when I decided to move across the country, I thought that train ride was simply leading me to a better lifestyle. I was excited, not afraid. I have to admit I was pretty dense for many years, but I attribute that to all the blocked energy I was filled with. The more of it I released, the more I realized that I was free to fill those spaces as I wished. Freedom does take a bit of getting used to. It was there all along, but my lesson was to access it.